It’s hard and there will be so many times you feel like it’s tiring. You will think about all the instances you’d want them to be right next to you so you can at least have his presence calm you when your life gets trying and get sad because you can’t have that. You will feel like you’re demanding too much of his time. You will feel like if you weren’t in his life, they’d probably be better off not worrying about you from all the way wherever-you-are. You will cry because you don’t know what’s going on. You will doubt things—the things he says, how things are, sometimes even whether or not you can still stand hurting.
Then you stop crying. You remember all the promises you’ve made each other and how giving up isn’t an option. You hold on to every memory—the way his eyelashes puts his eyes in shadow when he looks at you, the way he smiles when one side pulls up his cheek a little higher, how his muscles tense up and relax under your touch. Every word they say on a phone call you will replay over and over in your head until you’ve memorized even the way they accidentally breathed into the microphone. Every little item they left last you were together—that shirt that still has his smell on it, the little drawing he did when he was bored, and the words he scrawled into one of your journals—will have a special place in your room so you can find them even the dark when you need some way to remind you he is in your life and that you definitely not just dream everything up. You’ll hold on to each other’s voices and even to the sound of them falling asleep—you hold on to these things because, well, you can’t technically hold on to each other’s person. You will schedule when you should talk because you’re both busy people and still break your own rules every now and then because you can’t stand too long without his voice. You will smile because you’ll think of how things would be when you finally get to be in each other’s presence.
It’s hard, honestly. It takes a bit of toughening up to try to make things work, but it’s all worth it. :)
Postscript: I’m pretty certain this certain someone in my life won’t read this until a while. If you are reading this, though, hi. :) Hahahaha.