I haven’t written in a long while, and it feels a bit novel to be back here. I’m here mostly to rant, and maybe attempt to let off some steam.
See, I only really ever write when I feel an excess of emotion. I don’t remember when it was I last like this, but I know it’s been a while. Two years ago is a safe bet.
I’ve somehow recently gotten this suffocating feeling. They say it’d feel better if I told someone, but I don’t feel like there’s anyone I can really talk to about it either. I’ve tried explaining it to myself, but even I know I don’t make any sense. I’ve attempted to tell loved ones, but I don’t say the right words and mostly we’ll end up fighting.
Sometimes I wonder if everybody else’s life would be better if I didn’t have to be in it. Other times, I like to blame everyone else for how I feel. I can’t put to words exactly how I feel, but if I were to nominate one word close enough it would be confused.
I’ve pushed people away, and there’s always a limit to how much people can stand before they start to realize how disheartening I can be at times. I don’t really know if any of you will read this, but I want you to know I am sorry. Truly, I am.
I’m sorry all I ever do is make things worse.
That’s all for tonight, I should probably work on my paper.